"My Happiness Depends On You"

My father's birthday was yesterday.  I noted earlier in the week that we don't need birthday cards for him until tomorrow, when we actually celebrate, but that we should call him on the day. 

Between my mom and him making the rounds of various "seniors eat free on your birthday" establishments, and our after-school activities, I figured evening was the best time to make the call.

He'd be back home, and our entire family would be in one place, to do one of our (in)famous, everybody-pick-a-key renditions of "Happy Birthday."

Late afternoon, I received a phone call.  Thankfully, I let it go to voicemail.
It was a family member:

(Stage-whispered)  "Hi!  This is (name).  I stepped outside so your dad wouldn't hear me.  I just wanted to remind you that it's his 85th birthday today, and it would mean a lot to him if you would call him and say 'Happy Birthday.'"

I reacted to that message as I react to other similar "suggestions" from this particular person:
Strongly and poorly.

But why? 
I assume this relative thinks I'm an idiot and a social Neanderthal; not great, but not fatal.
I also have a juvenile flash of anger at being "told what to do" at my advanced age.

I think though, my real beef is the implicit message
"My happiness DEPENDS on you." 
(Or, in this case, my father's happiness)

That's an enormous responsibility to hand anyone.
Now, I like to think I'm a generally kind person and motivated to do whatever I can to make people happy, but this reminder seemed to imply otherwise.

I hope I don't make that same inference to my own friends and family. 
I hope my default belief is my family and friends are kind people (or at least I act like I believe it!)

And, I'll take responsibility for my own happiness, even if it means the children forget my birthday. 
They're kind people.  It's ok. 

How To Be Extraordinary

How to be extraordinary

 What can you wish for, and have your wish granted more quickly that you ever dreamed possible?

"I wish to be more humble, less full of myself."

And Life says, "DONE!"
(The variety of ways one can be taken down a peg or two is mind-boggling).

Perhaps you've known someone who started life in the back of the pack,
worked hard, rose to a higher position, acquired some of the finer things,
became a "success story"

...and morphed into a completely different person.

Maybe you were friends or coworkers, celebrating each other's
successes, and commiserating about the vagaries of life. 
Now, you're just a dot in their rearview mirror. 

That transformation isn't extraordinary.
It happens all the time, when the line between
"amazing accomplishments" and "my personal
awesomeness" becomes fuzzier and fainter.

Personally awesome people aren't extraordinary.
There are simply too many of them.

In fact, a successful man or woman
insisting that luck, connections or accident of birth
had nothing to do with their success is perfectly
ordinary.

What's extraordinary (because it's difficult and needs
constant vigilance) is rejoicing in success, while also acknowledging
that success is never completely free of luck, circumstance or generosity
of others. 

Humbleness (not to be confused with low self-esteem) is unusual enough
by itself, but coupled with prestige, social status, wealth or other trappings
of success…it’s extraordinary