"My Happiness Depends On You"

My father's birthday was yesterday.  I noted earlier in the week that we don't need birthday cards for him until tomorrow, when we actually celebrate, but that we should call him on the day. 

Between my mom and him making the rounds of various "seniors eat free on your birthday" establishments, and our after-school activities, I figured evening was the best time to make the call.

He'd be back home, and our entire family would be in one place, to do one of our (in)famous, everybody-pick-a-key renditions of "Happy Birthday."

Late afternoon, I received a phone call.  Thankfully, I let it go to voicemail.
It was a family member:

(Stage-whispered)  "Hi!  This is (name).  I stepped outside so your dad wouldn't hear me.  I just wanted to remind you that it's his 85th birthday today, and it would mean a lot to him if you would call him and say 'Happy Birthday.'"

I reacted to that message as I react to other similar "suggestions" from this particular person:
Strongly and poorly.

But why? 
I assume this relative thinks I'm an idiot and a social Neanderthal; not great, but not fatal.
I also have a juvenile flash of anger at being "told what to do" at my advanced age.

I think though, my real beef is the implicit message
"My happiness DEPENDS on you." 
(Or, in this case, my father's happiness)

That's an enormous responsibility to hand anyone.
Now, I like to think I'm a generally kind person and motivated to do whatever I can to make people happy, but this reminder seemed to imply otherwise.

I hope I don't make that same inference to my own friends and family. 
I hope my default belief is my family and friends are kind people (or at least I act like I believe it!)

And, I'll take responsibility for my own happiness, even if it means the children forget my birthday. 
They're kind people.  It's ok.