The Precarious Nature Of "Want to"

Being considered a kind, thoughtful, compassionate person is a good thing.  I imagine a few people don't want themselves described that way, but it seems likely that at least fifty-one percent of folks wouldn't object.

I've heard the whine of toddlers and teens, "But I don't WAAAAANT to" often enough to think there may have been a flaw in my childrearing practices.  Instead of asking "Do you want your sweater or your sweatshirt?" (and hearing, "I don't want either one") I should have asked, "Will you wear your sweater or your sweatshirt?"

Now, the "neither" option has come home to roost, and the desire to do something seems to be a necessary prerequisite for actually doing anything:  Practicing music...putting away laundry...writing a thank-you note...trying to gin up a warm, fuzzy feeling for any of those is slow going.  But, they still need to be done.

In fact, true kindness and compassion are facets of self-discipline, and antitheses of emotion-driven behavior.  It's not necessary to delight in writing a thank-you note in order to do it.  Ever.
Internalized kindness and compassion simply respond to the need in front of them, without pausing to ask "Do I really want to?"

Feeling inspired toward acts of kindness and actually being a kind person seem to be slightly different animals.  I'm not sure one can say, "I'm a kind person," any more than one can say "I've been a blessing to Susie." (Would Susie agree?)  There's a calculated-ness to that statement, the impression of impression-management.  True kindness and compassion simply respond to the need in front of them, without pausing to ask "Do I really want to?"

The precarious nature of "Want to" is that it's impossible to be consistent, day in and day out, based on emotion.  Sooner or later, the streak has to end, leaving confusion in its wake.
"You've changed."  "You're not the person I thought you were."
A compassionate person IS compassionate.  A person who wants to appear compassionate can't keep it up forever.

I hope my children will see the value of "be" over "want to."