Who's In Charge?

Boss, chairperson of an organization, head of household, committee president; these are all positions of authority.  They direct or delegate, make the unpopular decisions and have the "big picture."
They're in charge.

Being in charge definitely has its advantages.  Deciding on vision, direction and goals, and being the delegator, rather than the "delegatee" are just a few of them.  The Big Cheese gets the first compliments when things go well.

That said, within any hierarchical group I've belonged to, there's often a measure of grumbling that So-and-So isn't doing his/her job.  S/he's inept.  Doesn't follow directions.  Tries to tell others what to do, instead of doing his/her job.  (As I say at our house, "Don't be like Henry Ford, who had a better idea.")

At which point, the boss/chair/HoH/president has a choice.
Either, make it clear the underling in question has no moral authority to weigh in on anything and should be ignored, or find out why they do what they do...and bring them around.

All this really isn't important, until suddenly it is.
Anyone who's witnessed an older sibling babysitting a younger sibling has seen this.
The Number One question is:
"Why should I listen to YOU?"
("Because Mom/Dad said so" never is an acceptable answer!)

I suspect this happens because the younger child, being nobody's fool, observes the older child being disciplined, hears the parent(s) grumble about the older child's behavior and remembers these instances, either as "Note to self, don't do that" or as "moral ammunition" to use later.

Now "the boss" is in a tough spot.  Having eliminated all comers to the position of authority, there's no one left to take the reins in an emergency, or, in the case of an organization, to take up the torch.

When I was in graduate school, I was at odds with my initial advisor, as well as with the program in general (great program, bad fit).  But...I also remembered I needed letters of recommendation for an internship and possibly for my first job.  At that time, it didn't make sense to burn bridges or sacrifice good will from the faculty.  I was the "underling" looking up, but in a similar way, if I'd let the people  whose recommendations I needed know they didn't have moral authority to weigh in on my ability...I would have been outta luck.

If this sounds a little calculating, it needn't.  In fact, I believe this used to be called good manners!  I tell the children if they want to create a "cult of personality", where they, and only they, can be in charge, that's fine.  But, if their family/business/class project needs to tootle along in their absence, it's wiser (kinder, and better leadership!) to grumble in private and lift up a replacement or three as they go.

That way, there'll always be a good, clear answer to "Who's in charge?"