Defining Moments

I have received vast quantities of advice from well-meaning people, since I decided to expunge "school psychologist" from my list of attributes (although I'm still licensed) and to add "independent skincare consultant".  I really don't like that job description/title, so I have been playing around with it, each time in reaction to something someone said.  Defining...or redefining...moments.

When the nice border-patrol officer took me to task for not describing my work to his satisfaction, and said"network marketing" with a sneer, I changed my title to concierge skincare consultant and made a mental note to have a snappy job description that would satisfy someone packing heat.  I experimented with "independent contractor", after being reminded by a corporate staff member that that is what I actually am.  In a fit of pique over what I took to be chastening for not working harder, I temporarily left off the name of the company with whom I contract.  Now that I have gathered a group of people whom the company nicely describes as business partners, and I feel like I have some traction, I've decided to be an independent contractor and include the name of the company.

All of these were defining moments, moments that I never had as a school psychologist.  That definition never changed, although the job description did shift under the surface.  I can't help but wonder how I would have viewed myself and the 8 to 3, had I had the option to self-describe as a "school diagnostician" or "mindless testing drone" or "government employee" or  "psycho-educational assessment specialist."  The closest I came to doing that was getting an employee identification that proclaimed me to be a testing teacher, after a parent asked me if that's what I was.  "Sure," I replied.  "Why not?"  That became a running gag for the remainder of my career in the schools, and a defining moment in which I was reminded not to take myself too, too seriously.

Now that I have some freedom to define and redefine my career choice, I'm spotting many other little "defining moments" for other aspects of my life.  These are like little gems, and when I spot them, pick them up and stick them on, the picture of who I am becomes brighter and clearer, both to myself and to others.  I still define myself as a competitive skater, when people ask, although foot surgery has meant months of missed competition and performance opportunities.  When I had the opportunity to purchase a nice coach's coat with my name on it, for teaching basic skills, I gave it a miss.  After eight years of teaching skills, I do not define myself as a skating coach.

My latest defining moment came when I was attending a lunch where another independent skincare consultant was among the guests.  I had heard repeatedly how complimenting and engaging restaurant waitstaff in conversation is a great recruiting opportunity, but I had never seen it in action.  Upon seeing the other consultant with her head close to a waitress and hearing, "Great, I'll be in touch with you soon", I realized instantly that that was never going to be part of my business plan.  A defining moment.

Look for defining moments.  They are everywhere, just waiting to be picked up, and you will may be as amazed as I am to see who you really are!